German’s Are Blunt.
If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!
Now I won’t have to say “ask your father” or sheepishly talk about the birds and the bees. This German book does all the work for me, and its hilarious curly-haired (and bearded…ew.) male figure makes the reading that much more enjoyable.
Take a look. I would post a pic from the book, but some of them are better left a surprise. (From Althouse)
One Althouse commenter translated the German, here’s an excerpt:
“You can see mother’s slit. The slit is called a sheath (Germanic for “vagina,” which is Latin for sheath). You can see Father’s “little tail,” which is called a member. Mother and father love each other very much. They kiss each other. Father’s member has gotten big. It stands out stiff. Mother and Father would like very much for Father’s member to come into Mother’s vagina. It’s very nice.”
Mother and Father would like very much for Father’s member to come into Mother’s vagina?
Well, sometimes Father much more than Mother. Unless, of course, Father takes out the trash
Token Gay Friend
The Human Rights Campaign has a new….um…campaign, called “Tom, the Token Gay Friend”. I can see the need for this, but the video spots are just plain lame. Check them out here to see what I mean.
I don’t want to say that it doesn’t happen in real life where a gay person says something about their Plight to a group of their “friends”, and the room responds with nothing but crickets chirping…but honestly, this seems SO unlikely. Would a gay person really be friends with a whole big group of people that laughed at the things they said having to do with being gay? Please.
Seems to me that it would be like most people…they don’t “get” you, you don’t hang with them. No matter the subject.
I have a couple token gay friends (I’ll use their insulting language since its funny and I’m a go with the flow kind of gal), my favorite being my hair stylist Jeff. He hates these ads (but likes Tom, of course).
What do you think?
Drifting
“Falling asleep at the wheel again baby
You’re drifting over the line (the line) yeah
Your hands are tight but you’re losing grip quickly
Fix me, can you read the signs? “
Lyrics from “Pretty Vegas”, INXS
I’m sitting here, another day of feeling like shit and wondering if I’m crazy or if there is something physically wrong with me. I read this post from a fish and realized “Wow. I think she read my mind and described my every thought.”.
I definitely have some physical things going on, but why should I be SO. TIRED? Getting up with a baby every night doesn’t explain this decent into sloth town. Its not normal to be thinking about going back to bed as soon as you get up in the morning. All morning long I time my day so that I can go back to bed when the baby naps. Get a sitter over here so I can nap. Make sure hubby gets home in time to get the kids in bed so i can snooze on the couch. Can’t someone come over and do things for me so I can SLEEP??
As if its not bad enough wanting to sleep all the time, its not like I’m laying there all perky and joyful saying “Its a lovely day, I want to go out and do things, let me sleep a little first”. No. I’m sleepy, lying around and pretty damn depressed that I’m sleepy and lying around. As I lay there, praying to fall asleep, I think about things. Not happy things. Things like, why is everything in my life so overwhelming? Why can’t it all stop? Please make it stop.
I am wondering if I subconsciously think if I lay in bed long enough, literally unable to move I am so exhausted, all the bad stuff in my life will just go away. Obviously my logical brain says “Hello! Every minute you lay there things on the outside world are just getting worse for you! Stop bitching and deal with it!”. The most mystifying thing of all is, I don’t care. I have no desire to “feel better”. I’m sad that I feel bad, but I don’t feel like doing anything about it. Its the worst of the most pathetic.
Throw in the fact that my husband is having to jump through all kinds of hoops while I’m laid up, and my family who were formally very helpful, now avoid me like the plague (stopped calling, don’t come over, never even email me) and you have one fun party.
Now, all that being said. The way I’m feeling physically is very scary. What if its more than being depressed? Can being depressed cause such a severe physical reaction? I can barely move. I am achy, and I don’t have the flu. My main symptom is that darn exhaustion, so now I’m starting to convince myself I have something more serious. The poster child for exhaustion is, after all, cancer. I’ve had different symptoms, the details of which I will spare you, that could possibly be attributed to some serious thing going on, but those things can also be attributed to a million other things. Also, is it possible to suddenly get post-pardum depression ONE YEAR after the birth of the baby? Its a stretch, right?
Gah. I am loathe to even blog about this. I know reading this is such a barrel of laughs and all, so I’m conscious of my pathetic-ness wearing out its welcome. Hang in there, the story is developing…*
*Please, no one give me the ever lovely “please get help” line. I KNOW. I’ve heard it. Remember reading above that I don’t feel like doing anything about it? Yeah. So why even talk about it? Good question. I’m sure I want to get better, but I don’t want to tell anyone in the Real World what is going on. They will make me do things. Like go outside and eat more healthy foods. I’m depressed and can’t even sit up, much less get dressed or cook dinner.
No Worries
I left Charlie’s room when he was winding down watching Mulan, assuming he would magically fall asleep for his nap all by himself. This was a really good assumption since its never happened in his entire life, and since he rarely takes naps at home any more. I’m a dreamer, so sue me.
While in the kitchen I start hearing “Mommy! Mommy!” in a screaming, terrified little voice. I rush in there, thinking something really bad has happened like he dripped some water on his leg or the movie went to a commercial.
I get in there and he is crying and crying. He says to me, “Mommy! I worried about you!”.
Now, this is of course an adorable thing for a three year old to say. But it means SO MUCH coming from this three year old.
Up until two months ago, he NEVER verbally expressed emotion to us other than the ever obvious tantrum-screaming-at-the-top-of-your-lungs-kind. Now, since starting at his new ABA-based therapeutic preschool, we are meeting a new Charlie, or rather, getting reacquainted. This is the Charlie we knew before he regressed at 24 months, but was non-verbal back then anyway. I’ve heard things like, “I missed you mommy” “I mad” “I crying” “That’s not funny” and now “I worried about you”.
::heart melting::
Serenity
We saw the film Serenity last night, and WOW, its was incredible! EVERYONE should go see this. You don’t have to like Sci-Fi at all. The whole thing is all about the story, and the characters, and the sci-fi stuff is really secondary.
The cast is full of mostly unknowns, and they are excellent. The film is so well written, it charming and hilarious. I can’t wait to see it again to take in all the witty dialogue. So many great sayings I want to write down and remember forever. “Here’s you and me, on a ragged cliff. You don’t push me, and I won’t push you.”
Most of the movie does not use CGI, so it seems really old school and interesting. I don’t know about you, but I’ve gotten a bit bored watching movies full of computer animated EVERYTHING, where the entire movie was shot in front of a green screen. Sometimes those types of movies are nice for shameless entertainment, but get old quickly.
This movie really reminded me of the original Star Wars, and I’m really hoping it becomes a sleeper hit. I want sequels!
Tell everyone you know, GO SEE IT NOW!
But what if its just really hot at my hot UPS guy’s house?
This is unbelievable, and I’m still trying to figure out if its a joke.
And, there are “actual” testimonials:
My wife and I got married three years ago. Last winter I started suspecting her of cheating. It was tearing my heart out to think of her with another man. In an act of desperation I bought these panties, and boy am I glad I did.
It turns out, she was sleeping with her coworker! She was going to a hotel near her office nearly every workday.
Gone are the good ‘ol fashioned days when you could just follow your wife, catch her in bed with some fella, and deal with the matter right then and there. Gansta style.
Geez.
(Thanks Anchoress)
Exposed
While reading into this story about how Bush had a meeting with troops, and the media accused him of prepping them on what to ask him, I found this little gem: Up The Creek: Out To Embarrass Bush Over Alleged Video Stunt, Today Gets Caught in Stunt Of Its Own.
Check it out, they made it look like there was so much flooding the reporter needed a boat, then DOH! two guys go walking by with the water barely covering their shoes! I watched it a coupe of times to get a good laugh. Imagine what she was thinking when they went walking by, “Damn you local rednecks! I am vying for Katie Couric’s job and you are NOT HELPING!!”.
On a related note…here’s a link to a blog by one of the troops at the Bush meeting. Nice to read an insider’s viewpoint.
Cleanest Kitty On Earth
Apparently, cats have now evolved to be super efficient. They can lick their butts twice as fast.
Check out this cat with two tongues!!
Go here to read the article.
(Via Drudge)
Man Crush/Girl Crush
This morning on the Today Show they had a segment on whether or not man crushes exist. They defined it as a (platonic) crush a straight man has on another man. They also discussed the fact that girl crushes exist. They interviewed 15 (yeah, HUGE sample) men in NYC, asking them if they have a man crush, and if they think they exist. ALL of them said no, they don’t have one, but yeah, they “probably” exist.
The most obvious thing to me while watching this segment was that all the men questioned acted like “no way! of course not!” when asked if they had a man-crush, like some crazed homophobes. Of course, we all know that man-crushes and girl-crushes most definitely DO exist, and there’s nothing wrong with them.
I’ve had a girl-crush on Jennifer Garner for at least 5 years now. She is lovely and adorable and used to date my secret boyfriend, pictured above*.
*Yay! An excuse to post a pic of Michael Vartan! Wheee!
Wondering…
Are one year old’s supposed to have tantrums that last 20 min to two hours of constant screaming, where they can’t calm down or look at you?
Are they supposed to be hitting and scratching?
Just checking.
Connect
- Seal Calms My Soul (A Giveaway!)
- He Tells No Tales
- 5 Ways To Step Outside The MommyBlogger Box
- Karma and Milestones
- Election Day 2008
- 5 Minutes for Going Green
- and More
- Autism
- Babywearing
- Best Shot Monday
- Blissfully Domestic
- Blog Nosh Mag
- blogging
- Bloggy Friends
- blogher
- Chicago Moms Blog
- Family
- Flickr Goodness
- Food
- Green Living
- Guest Posting
- Health
- Love Thursday
- Mama Speaks
- Myself and I
- NWI Parent
- One2One
- Randomness
- Relationships
- Ruby and Roja
- Savvy auntie
- Shopping
- social media
- Sponsors
- Throwback Thursday
- Uncategorized
- Vegan
- Weekly Twitterings
- Wordless Wednesday
