From the category archives:

Mabel

The Promise

January 26, 2012

I wake to two little eyes focused on me. Little eyelashes growing long, coming to have a curl at the end. I see those eyes crinkle into the most quiet of grins, beckoning me to wake for the day. She doesn’t wake me with a cry but with a spirit-nudge. Each morning I gently open [...]

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In These 2 Years

January 6, 2012

She died this day that year,
and on Sunday we will celebrate
the day she was born.
Again with the backwards of it all.
And it will always be backwards.
The finality of it still catches in my throat
like a lump of dirt that I still can’t swallow.
Brothers request a cake and a party and we will miss and cry
and [...]

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Small Style – This Christmas

December 30, 2011

It was our first Christmas with a baby girl,

even though she spent the holiday with roseola
and the pitiful attitude to go along with it.

It was the first Christmas where vinyl was played,
the first with our new vintage tinsel tree,
the first where cornbread muffins and cupcakes were from scratch
and one where the gifts were not lavish, [...]

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How She Came To Be – River’s Birth Story

November 29, 2011

Friends, I have no idea where these days and weeks have gone. River turns 8 weeks old in a couple days and honestly? We cannot believe it. I haven’t blogged here mostly because I had no idea time was rushing past me (the other reason is because colic has ruled the house). Things are finally [...]

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Small Style – 3 Weeks

October 28, 2011

There is this place where I go when I talk to God.
Somewhere in the in between.
Where things aren’t so tethered.
God said to go there even when I’m not praying.
Just to be.
To notice larger things.
To hear whispers like “this is temporary…”
That place seems a tiny line between denial and surrender…
We get to choose which side we [...]

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What I Wore – Little Babies Are Little

October 26, 2011

There was this one time
when I gave birth to a baby girl
and she was so much me
that I never slept again.

River isn’t a fan of sleeping.
Three weeks in and it feels like yesterday.
She was beauty and pain and emerged here at my home
THREE WEEKS AGO?
I didn’t mean to leave
and not tell you all about the [...]

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River Promise

October 6, 2011

She kept us waiting didn’t she? Two weeks late, but right on time.
Welcome to the world!

River Promise

Born at home in the water at 6:30pm October 5, 2011
9lbs 2oz 21.5 inches
As you can see, she is a tiny girly wonder to her big brothers.
She brings with her missings of her sister Mabel,
but the Promise of redemption.
We [...]

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What I Wore (40wks)

September 23, 2011

For the first time I’m passing my baby’s due date with total peace.
I’m pretty sure I’ve always cried and tantrumed my way across due dates in the past.

I think everyone but me is feeling that way, actually.

I had this big breakdown on Sunday, epic epic crying.
I had been holding back,
thinking that being “done” would somehow [...]

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Because He Is Nine

September 5, 2011

He is simply an enigma.
From the moment he was born, to his diagnosis at age 2
From his journeys through therapy
to his miraculous progress
and place of hope.
He is such mystery
a puzzle-gift I attempt to unwrap
more and more each day.
Each layer more precious
each layer revealing more mystery.
He continues to be my ocean.
My vast, deep, sometimes dark
always powerful
but sometimes quiet
beauty [...]