From the category archives:

inspiration

The Promise

January 26, 2012

I wake to two little eyes focused on me. Little eyelashes growing long, coming to have a curl at the end. I see those eyes crinkle into the most quiet of grins, beckoning me to wake for the day. She doesn’t wake me with a cry but with a spirit-nudge. Each morning I gently open [...]

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In These 2 Years

January 6, 2012

She died this day that year,
and on Sunday we will celebrate
the day she was born.
Again with the backwards of it all.
And it will always be backwards.
The finality of it still catches in my throat
like a lump of dirt that I still can’t swallow.
Brothers request a cake and a party and we will miss and cry
and [...]

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A Confession

December 4, 2011

Sometimes it’s the epitome of that feeling of being watched. You are not your own anymore.
You have that Not You inside you, literally there in a tangible way that if we just invented the right kind of scan they’d be able to locate it.
A soul scan.
The unseen aren’t nonexistent, just viewed with special eyes.
I [...]

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What I Wore (40wks)

September 23, 2011

For the first time I’m passing my baby’s due date with total peace.
I’m pretty sure I’ve always cried and tantrumed my way across due dates in the past.

I think everyone but me is feeling that way, actually.

I had this big breakdown on Sunday, epic epic crying.
I had been holding back,
thinking that being “done” would somehow [...]

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On Cultivating Heart Strings

September 17, 2011

THERE IS SOMETHING SPECIAL about real life.
It’s not just the laughter you can see instead of just hear (or read).It’s not the twinkle in a friend’s eye.
It’s more than the touch or the hug or the wiping away of tears.
It’s that we were created for it.To mingle our spirits togetherand with Him.
To be fully full [...]

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On Going Home

September 14, 2011

Sara skyping in with the (in)Courage writers last week at Hilton Head Island, SC

My mind and heart has been consumed with something else today. SomeONE else.
I tried to get dressed and take pictures of this beautiful belly I still have.
Of the life about to emerge.
But perhaps tomorrow for that, for today is for Sara.
One of my fellow (in)courage writers, a friend and dear one,
is about to go to [...]

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When Nothing Else Will Fix It

August 22, 2011

Where do we go
and what do we say
when nothing will fix it?
When there are no answers?
We hear the Earth groan in labor
and can feel the vibrations of the soil
crying out in expectation of Salvation…
{{Click to read the rest over at Incourage, won’t you?
I’d love your thoughts…}}

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On Breathing

April 30, 2011

I struggled and limped and crawled my way through this last week to make it to week 19. It wasn’t how I thought it would be.
I imagined reaching week 19, now farther than we got with Mabel, and celebrating. Throwing a little party at home, dancing. Joy overflowing.
But the reality is that a new layer [...]

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On Learning To Suffer Well

April 11, 2011

I lay and feel this baby, 16 weeks along now, move and wiggle inside me. I cannot get enough of each and every womb-touch. I take it all in. I gulp and gulp and swallow this experience whole. I cannot. Get. Enough.
But also.
I remember.
Laying in a dark room in my bed with a completely silent [...]