Incensed

Have you ever watched incense burn?  It seems to smoke from more than one place, two streams in a constant rhythm that reminds me of an endlessly flowing creek.  It’s beyond beautiful, and I couldn’t believe this unspoken lovliness had gone unnoticed by me for my whole life until now.  Just a small thing, me in my room, alone, reading a book and there’s this tiny piece of joy that only I enjoy.

The kids have their little moments, those moments of beauty that perhaps NO ONE ever sees, or maybe even just me, and I thank God for them.  What a gift to notice those things.  Like how my 2 year old loves to measure his hand up to mind, and his tiny dirty fingers are so fragile and bendy and we giggle about how his fingers are small and one day they will be very NOT small.  When he’s a teen, a man.  A father himself, measuring his hands with his own child’s tiny bendy fingers.

Or like how I see my 4yr old bounce his eyebrows in an excited way when I place a plate of healthy food in front of him.  It’s his own celebration, elated that I’ve given him celery and hummus. I smile so glad he loves healthy food, and wonder how I’m going to keep all these boys fed since they seem to pile more and more into their mouths every day.

Or things of the earth, like the incense smoke or watching a bird hop all over my yard and wonder what it’s up to, or just feeling the dirt in between my hands and fingers when I plant something, and realize that it’s so very alive.  And so am I.

I feel honored when I have a spare moment to slow my mind down and notice these things.  I don’t do it enough.