Thinking Thin, Part 1

As most of you who blog already know, a personal blog is not the entire blogger’s life story.  My blog is a small piece of me, it scratches the surface of my heart and gives me a place to say things that I may not want to say out loud.  It’s a place I can share MY story of my special needs children, my view of their world, and how those who enter our world affect it.  An outlet for me to ramble on about windows and trees and other randomness, and have someone get it.  Someone get me.

So there’s a piece of me that I’ve been wanting to write about here, but wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do.  It’s not some scandalous secret or another tragedy I’m waiting to spill out onto you, but something very important to me just the same.

There’s a line of commitment that people rarely cross over when making life decisions.  They like to prance around it, pretend they’ve taken the step over it, but rarely ever make it happen.  I’ve taken the step, I’m on the other side.

I’ve started a weight loss journey.

I know I briefly said something about it last week, but I am going to officially “go there” and write about my journey.  After the encouragement of some friends and family who all said “do it!  people want to hear this.”, I decided to jump in with both feet.

I’ve never written about this before, so even though I’m a writer at heart, this will be all new territory for me.  I’ve read many weight loss blogs, or bloggers writing about the subject, and I have to say — it’s not always the most interesting topic.  I don’t think you want to know what I ate for breakfast or what the scale says three times a day. I know I don’t, I want to read stories I can relate to.  Stories of a real woman, experiencing real emotions.

So what my goal is here is to simply be real.  Talk about the things that a person goes through when on a long weight loss journey (I have more than 10 or 20 pounds to lose, my friends).  To share the ups and downs.  To be light and fun, and even the opposite when necessary.  Even referring to it as “weight loss” is not entirely accurate for me, because it’s so much more.  It will be my outside finally looking like my inside.

My sister gave me an epiphany today — and that is, that I’ve never “known” myself as a thin person.  I don’t feel like I really found the “true me” until just the last couple years.  Definitely not until I was past age 30.  So back when I was thin, I was someone else.  The person that was happy and all, but was really more of reflection of who she thought people wanted her to be.

For my soul to match the outside, well, that is a journey I think is worth reading about.  Don’t you?

One of the blogs about this topic that I *do* think is interesting, called Back In Skinny Jeans, reminds us that getting a healthy body most definitely includes getting a healthy self in the process.  As we drop pounds, we drop baggage, as well as the reason for all of it.

I am cautiously excited about this new topic, because — even though I’m not worried about sharing — I do realize that as an “all or nothing” writer, I will have no choice but to really go there.  Yes I may share about how hard shredding was or how counting points is actually fun, maybe even tell you about the magical fabulous sports bra I found at WalMart last week.  Whatever I say and wherever I take us on this journey, I promise you the realness, the life, and the honesty that you deserve.

I decided to call this series “Thinking Thin“, because as you can tell from the name of this blog, I really believe in creating the life you want by believing in it first.  For better or worse, what we think, is what comes to pass.  I want to create thin.

So 10 days in, I’m doing the counting points plan (Weight Watchers, I adore thee), and heading to my sister’s house to do Wii Fit every day because I don’t have one myself, I joined the bloggy support group of Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans, I just started the 30 day shred, and am 6 pounds down.

I hope you’ll stick around for more.