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As I kissed each boy goodbye in the wee, still dark hours this morning, I couldn’t help but feel that familiar tug at my heart. I didn’t want to go. Didn’t want to leave them, yet again.
As much as we do as moms, the cleaning, the laundry, the wiping of tears, the calming spirit, the combing of hair, the encouragement to please bathe yourself for heaven’s sake, it’s all just a piece of a much larger puzzle.
Many of us also take meetings, go on business trips, spend hours on conference calls and aren’t recognized without a laptop on our laps or a phone on our ear.
This, I reminded myself as I slinked away and asked God to protect them and help them have less tears while I’m away, was why I was leaving, and that maybe they could need that kind of mothering a little less while I’m off doing a totally different kind of mothering. My identity as a mother has expanded so much in the last year, and being a mom (whether a work, stay or anything in between-at-home mom) has taken on new and complex meanings for me.
For this season of our lives, being the worker bee is part of my mom job description. In some houses Dad is the new Mom, and in still others (like ours) everyone does a bit of everything. This is Family 2.0. No rules, just life.
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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Beautiful, and so true. I still leave a little piece of my heart with Luke every single morning, but I'm almost always able to remind myself that I'm working *for* him and that as hard as it is for me, it is good for him in so many ways. In an ideal world, we'd all live in a commune and raise our babies together, but until that happens, doing whatever it is that is best for you and your family is the next best thing.;)
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So perfectly true. I work from home, and sometimes I have the hardest time making myself find the time to work-but it is a fact of life, to pay the bills now it has to happen. So, for those times I feel guiltry for putting on Sesame Street, I'll just have to remember that it makes the other moments possible.
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I know this language. And sheesh is that not like the saddest photo you could choose? : ) But weary and fitting, yes.
Steph
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I'm so proud of you – bringing home the (organic) bacon AND frying it up in the pan. You and your hubs make such a great team. Have fun in Austin!
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Just found your site and I am enjoying reading your post. I hear you, sad to leave the little ones…
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Well put! Everytime I leave to get my hair done, go to Target ALONE, or even sneak into the office for a couple of hours like this morning, I need to remind myself that they need that time just as much as I do! Thank you!
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I am a stay at home mom now since i had to sell my photography studio when we moved, I worked all my life up to age 42, now 44 and was a professional photographer 15 of those years. My youngest was 4 weeks old when i went back to work i was in the bed practically 2 months from complications before my delivery, well at 4 weeks old back to work with hardly no sleep and a new baby and another 3 years old i would photograph other peoples children and think you are so lucky you are home with your children. I know it is so hard working and having children because everyday you leave you know you're missing out on a little something. I wish i could've been home then instead of now, however they have needed me to pick them up from school and things like that i think they would respect me more if i was at work. But then again they don't relize the things they would miss out on because i wasn't here. There always 2 ways to look at things. I was very touched by the post because i can relate.
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Family 2.0. LOVE IT.
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