Our Horse And Pony Show: How We Give Autism The Boot

by Arianne on December 5, 2008

I get asked a lot how we do it, what we do to help recover our children with autism.  Most of the time our children can “pass” as typical kids when out in public.  My 6 year old, especially, is doing so well that his issues are minimal now, compared to how bad they used to be.  Some may even think we are out of the woods with him.

We feel very blessed for his progress, but we are far from out of the woods.  There is a whole horse and pony show going on behind the scenes here at home.  We can’t blink, can’t rest, can’t stop anything we are doing, or he and his brothers regress back into the autism world faster than anything I’ve ever seen.  It’s still there, lurking.  The darkness, the world that once held him prisoner, it persists still.

My parents like to share some of my blog posts with our extended family from time to time, and during one email exchange I felt my dad communicated very well what all goes on here at home.  I’m reprinting that email here for you now:

It’s so good to celebrate Charlie’s progress every day.  Fortunately, his special private Montessori schooling, special diet and supplements, and his parents’ monumental effort through their deliberate daily work with Charlie, help him keep the progress he has made, so he doesn’t regress.  Same for his brothers, Jamie and Jonah.

Through the massive research Jacob and Arianne have done, in addition to their at-home therapy for the boys, they’ve come up with a more or less three prong approach to addressing their special needs. Number one is the private Montessori school that gives them the perfect environment, i.e. small class room size, very low teacher to student ratio (1:5), and a child led approach to learning, particularly encouraging healthy social interaction among their peers.  **Editor’s note: the kids are also in occupational and behavior therapy programs as part of this “prong”**

Prong two is diet.  They must maintain a very strict diet with them; gluten free, dairy free, corn and soy free, and organic–nothing that includes any metals, corn syrup, preservatives, etc., all of which, through their individual experience with each of the boys, is critical to avoid.  If they eat one thing that contains items on the excluded list, they can immediately see signs of regression in their behavior.  You can imagine how much attention, labor, patience and love that takes to maintain each day.  If it weren’t for the visible results they have seen over and over, Jacob and Arianne would not be able to do it.  And almost all their dietary items can only be purchased at specialty food stores (i.e. Whole Foods or other organic food stores).


**A sampling of what the kids take every day

Third prong-supplements.  You would not believe the huge array of nutritional supplements these boys take every day. Again through individual repeated testing and experience and intense research, Jacob and Arianne have come up with the right supplements for each of the boys (and the boys individually have different supplement needs–their kitchen counter looks like a pharmacy).  These too are critical. If they miss a dose or run out, their behavior almost immediately regresses.  Arianne and Jacob’s constant fear, is that if the boys don’t maintain all 3 of these approaches and they regress, could the regression be permanent?  The research is not able to tell them, one way or another.

Thankfully they belong to a local association of parents with children similarly affected, which has been instrumental in achieving the success they’ve had so far.  I’m so proud of the personal sacrifice that Arianne and Jacob have made for their boys, in many ways- career, professional, social, financial, etc.  Their Faith carries them through.

Love,

John

All these things we do come after 2 years of intensive therapy a couple years ago.  That journey got us to the place we are now, where these things listed in the email can really take root and grow.  These ways of recovery don’t work for all children with autism, I’m seeing it in my own children as we continue to search for the perfect protocol for my youngest son.  But we will never stop trying new things, and will never, ever give up believing that our kids can get better.

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Siete
September 7, 2009 at 11:38 pm

{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

crookedeyebrow December 5, 2008 at 4:35 pm

I’ve told you this before, Jacob and you amaze me. Everything you do for your boys is remarkable, not to mention what you contribute to the autism community. Your last sentence sums it up so well. Never give up believing…

crookedeyebrow’s last blog post..Q & A part II

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Carrington December 5, 2008 at 4:53 pm

I read that e-mail from dad and thought the same thing. I’m so proud of you guys. I often think about what their lives would be like if they had different parents, and it makes me sad, because I can’t fathom how much harder their lives would be. You were meant to take care of their little bodies and spirits, and you are doing an amazing job at it!

Carrington’s last blog post..Nervousness vs. Excitement!

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ClassyMommy December 5, 2008 at 7:36 pm

A- Thanks for sharing all this info for us – and I hope through the power of your blog your intense research and experience will benefit and help thousands of other Moms & Dads enable their children to recover. I see a book just waiting (and begging) to be written…….

ClassyMommy’s last blog post..Win a free prize from Keen!

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Olive U. December 5, 2008 at 8:24 pm

Love my little boys so much! You and J give them everything you’ve got and then some. So, so, so proud of you. Keep sharing your story so others can be more aware of the struggles families like yours must face everyday. Olive U.

Olive U.’s last blog post..My Ten Tips For a Healthy Holiday

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sticky?cheri December 5, 2008 at 9:28 pm

I have a 4 yo son with ASD and he too is in Montessori. It has worked wonders with him. Unfortunately, this school only goes through kindergarten, so I have to decide where to go then. I big puffy heart Montessori. He actually plays with other children.

I hear from so few people whose children are like mine (ie “passing” as typical) It makes me feel so good to read your words and feel your hope. There is so much information out there that I have felt bogged down, almost frozen, unable to decipher one treatment from the next – trying to translate all the jargon and find our place, our method of fighting this foe.

Thank you for everything you have done and the encouragement you give to the rest of us…

sticky?cheri’s last blog post..See! Not child related!

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Christina December 6, 2008 at 8:42 pm

I’m always interested in seeing what other autism parents are doing, and this was a fascinating post. We’re at the point of beginning to consider supplements for Cordy, and it’s like trying to decode a math problem in a foreign language. Where to start? How to tell if they’re working? Etc…

I’m hoping we’ll reach the same point you’re at. Even if you do have the horse & pony show at home, it’s worth it.

Christina’s last blog post..Haiku Friday: Finals Week

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Ashlee - Mama's Nest December 7, 2008 at 2:02 pm

This almost embarrassing to admit but my iPhone was playing “Dont Stop Believing” as I came over to read this… Think there was a reason behind that ;)

Xo

Ashlee – Mama’s Nest’s last blog post..Happy Thanks Giving

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Karen Putz December 7, 2008 at 9:09 pm

The picture of the supplements blew my minds– wow. A lot to keep track of! But your kids benefit the most from having two dedicated, amazing parents. :)

Karen Putz’s last blog post..Come and Join Us for Mom’s Night Inn

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Mary December 7, 2008 at 10:01 pm

Amazing, Arianne. This post has really caused me to put things into perspective regarding my own children, who exhibit many traits of ADD. I believe changes in diet as well as chiropractic visits would benefit them greatly, and I’m more resolved now than ever to pursue these avenues in helping them. Thank you!

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Carissa (GoodNCrazy) December 7, 2008 at 10:05 pm

Your story especially the parts about dealing with such an extreme diet has me really amazed and intrigued…

I’d love to know the how’s and whys. I have a freind with a little boy with severe epilepsy and he was going downhill fast at one point and they started him on a rediculously intense diet.. (ketogenic). It was so amazing to see the incredible difference in this little boy within days and weeks… He stayed on it for a year I believe and while he is not cured in any fashion, a lot of his symptoms are no under control with medicines…

Anyway, with my biology background I was able to talk through some of the reasons that diet did what it did for him.

As I read (what seem to be a lot lately) blogs and stories about using these ‘NON’ diets (cutting out gluten etc..) I’m curious to know what that is doing to their brains? Or just what/where it’s making the difference… physiologically you know?

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sarah December 8, 2008 at 11:21 am

I am so glad Montessori is working for you. I am a certified Montessori aide and my mom is one of the first developers of curriculum for the upper Montessori grades (junior high) which has been growing rapidly. It is interesting how many parents are turning to this type of education to see their kids flourish and succeed.

sarah’s last blog post..Ode to Uncle Joe (Captain Uncle Joe that is)

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jamaise December 11, 2008 at 3:00 am

Kirkman is the best. Looks like you know your stuff.

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tara @ kidz December 11, 2008 at 5:16 am

I loved this post. Thank you.

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Kim December 12, 2008 at 3:08 am

Very interesting post, my daughter goes to Montessori, but I wasn't sure if it would be a good idea for my son with autism. Glad to have found your blog, I'm gonna check out some of your ideas and previous posts (on everything…love all the topics you highlight!) because I've been thinking about trying gluten-free/casein-free. Tried once and failed miserably but I'm pretty sure I was doing it all wrong :) .

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