I’ve been thinking all week about submitting a photo for the 5 Minutes for Mom photo contest, but I couldn’t decide what to highlight. Do I pick a photo of the kids? Of my own mom? Ultimately I decided on this photo:
This is me, two weeks before I gave birth to my first child 6 years ago. I was so excited to be a mom, because I had always felt it was my number one “career” choice. I never had ambitions to do anything else, so this was it–I was finally getting my dream job. I had no idea the amazing journey that lay ahead, and no idea that I’d be continually thrown for a loop in my motherhood evolution.
At that time, I remember thinking that we’d just be a typical family, going about life as everyone does. I had not one inkling that my first baby, and then my second, would have autism. I knew sleepless nights were ahead, but did not realize that meant that 6 years later those nights would still be just as restless. Had I known we as parents would end up becoming not only parents of autism, but writers, activists, go-against-the-grain-on-everything-type-parents, I might have been a little more reflective and a little more afraid.
Had I known what I know now, I might have been tempted to want to change things. Not that I could have changed anything, but I would have thought that I couldn’t handle what God had in mind for my life. I would not have realized the profound impact these boys would make on my heart…imprints of love, insight, genius.
Sometimes, many times, it’s better to be in the dark and not see where the path ahead of us is leading. While the darkness makes us feel out-of-control and intimidated, it also lets us take our own fear of failure out of the equation. It let’s us get out of our own way, and bloom into a better person than we knew we had inside us.
{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
That’s a beautiful picture and a beautiful story to go with it. I never took the opportunity to get those kinds of shots when I was pregnant. I sort of regret it now.
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It’s so true! Before becoming a mom I wouldn’t have had faith in my own ability to deal with all the issues, but here I am, feeling like I’m doing a pretty good job mothering my special kids!
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Oh my gosh, this photo is GORGEOUS!
Steph
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Boy, you are so right!! Had we known before hand, what we were up against, we would have withdrawn and missed out on whatever was in store for us, the child, and our character. We also would have never been the chosen one to help someone else in a similar position. I’ve often tried to figure out if I did something to cause my son’s illness or disease, but I’ve decided that my energies and thoughts are better focused on God who gave him to me and what He wants me to do with and for him now. Thanks for sharing this. It was refreshing for me today. My son will be graduating high school on the 22nd of this month, and even that was an amazing feat that we didn’t think he’d be able to accomplish. Thanks again. BTW, the picture…PRECIOUS!
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You look so radiant in this picture! So beautiful. Pregnancy is such a unique time of wondering what the future will look like.. so expectant and yet a little naive. I bet your boys are the sweetest and so loving with their momma. What lucky boys! :)
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That is a beautiful picture. I’m sort of sad that I never had any (not a one) pictures (professional or otherwise) taken of me when I was pregnant. I had such a low self-image I would not allow anyone with a camera near me.
I’ve really been meditating on what Jesus prayed to the Father about “giving us our daily bread.” I think as a society we are so busy thinking and planning and going, going, going, we have forgotten how to live in the moment. God knows what we need, and He’s already provided it. We just need to trust Him to give us what we need for that moment, that day. Those have been my thoughts lately, and they seem to go with what you were saying.
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That is an amazing photo. Absolutely beautiful. It is such a great moment in time to have forever.
Thanks for sharing!!
best,
Audrey
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Just gorgeous! I love your smile. Thank you so much for sharing such a beautiful picture with us!
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You look beautiful in this picture! I have always felt the same way about motherhood- that it was my only “career” choice.
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Beautiful picture, beautiful post.
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This picture is AWESOME! I’m so with you, despite all of the careers and jobs I’ve considered being a Mama is it.
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This picture is AWESOME! I’m so with you, despite all of the careers and jobs I’ve considered being a Mama is it.
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What a gorgeous picture. You glow!!
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I just love maternity portraits. They are so beautiful, but more than that, if they’re snapped in the right moment they capture that “glow”. I never thought I was glowing when I was pregnant because I rather disliked the experience but my maternity shots show otherwise.
What a gorgeous photo.
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This picture is gorgeous!
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i love that picture! the joy and contentment on your face is wonderfully captured in this picture! you are definitely glowing!
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So beautiful you are and were.
I love it and I regret not having one of these.
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What a beautiful picture of you!
I am having trouble adding you to google reader… it can’t find you. Hmmmmm. I can’t remember to come back and check without my google reader. Ha! :)
hope you’re doing good… it’s been a while since we’ve talked.
Brittany
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Good grief you’re beautiful. Do any of us really, I mean REALLY know what we’re in for? I’m not sure we’d sign up if we had a clue.
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I just found this.
I love you.
I, again, wish you lived next door.
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