Attachment Parenting News

As parents my husband and I have always gone on instinct, and it wasn’t until we’d been parents for a year or so that we even knew there was a “label” for our style. Attachment Parenting. The philosophy that you keep your children close, practice gentle discipline, and let their growth and development happen organically and naturally. I’ve loved breastfeeding, babywearing, co-sleeping the whole deal. It’s what has always felt right for us, and we’ve also realized that parenting this way has fostered a closeness with our two kids that have autism that is special and precious and unmatched. They require extreme intuitiveness and sensitivity, and if we were not as connected as we are things in our home life would be profoundly more difficult. Attachment Parenting International (”API”) is an organization that strives to educate parents and bring parents together.

API has some new awesome things going on right now that I’m excited to be able to share with all of you. Here’s the deets:

Attachment Parenting International (API), a non-profit organization that promotes parenting practices that create strong, healthy emotional bonds between children and their parents, has several exciting changes they would like to announce, including:

• A newly redesigned web site and new logo at Attachment Parenting.org;
• Attachment parenting worldwide support forums;
• Parent Education Program - a comprehensive series of classes for every stage and age of child development from infancy through adulthood;
• A new book based on API’s Eight Principles of Attachment Parenting by API co-founders Lysa Parker and Barbara Nicholson which is expected to be available this summer;
• A series of podcasts, webinars, chats, and forums with API Advisory Board members and other supporters of AP. Future events are scheduled with Dr. Bob Sears, Dr. James McKenna, and Kathleen Kendall Tacket. Check out the events page for more information.

These are just a few of many exciting things going on at API. I hope you’ll stop by and check it out for yourself.

I’m personally really excited about the educational series that they are scheduling, because I think they’ll be awesome for new and seasoned parents alike. Head over to API and see all their hard work in action!

Video Game Therapy

When I first started having children I told myself that I’d never let my kids get into video games. Six years later I find myself singing their praises and actually recommending them to people. How did this happen and what crazy obsessive universe did I tumble into?

My brother in law has always been a gamer, but having recently moved on to bigger and better things (read: Xbox 360) we were fortunate enough to get his hand me down Playstation 2. It was a compromise, since I had vowed to never buy a game console, but I figured the kids would be too young and they’d get bored and move on quickly. OH HOW FUNNY AND CUTE THOSE THOUGHTS ARE NOW.

At first we had the kids playing the snowboarding game SSX, and they were astonishingly good. Not just good for a 5 and 3 year old, good for anyone. They were beating most of us before we could blink, causing half of us to laugh in wonderment and the other half to get mad that they’d been beat down by a pre-schooler. Papa, I’m lookin at you.

The only problem is that while autism gives you mad focus skillz, it also takes away any and all ability to transition. As in, transition from playing to losing. No matter how fun they’d be having, the second the race would end and they hadn’t won, it was goodbye self control, hello tantrums.

Things were only partially bad, however, because the biggest change we noticed once the kids started playing was that my oldest started TALKING to us. Spontaneous words. Real conversations, even. Long monologues about the merits of the alpine board compared to the trick board, and why the best character was totally overrated. Yes, the conversations were mostly about the game, but we didn’t care. He was talking more than he ever had in his life, and this newfound passion and excitement was something we weren’t sure if we’d get to see as parents of autism.

It was official: I was smitten with video games.

Since the racing days we’ve moved onto the “adventure” genre now, and my boys continue to amaze me with their skill and understanding of these complicated games. The latest thing I’ve noticed resulting from the video game therapy is the emergence of pretend play. My boys, like most kids with autism, simply do not have pretend play skills. This fact makes it really hard on us as parents, and themselves in general, because they can’t just sit and play with toys. They look at a toy and have no idea what to do with it unless someone is sitting with them and mimicking it to them. Not because they aren’t smart enough, but because that abstract thought part of the brain is compromised somehow. Instead of playing, they find non-play to do (wrecking furniture or dumping out every toy bin and drawer they can find, for example) and get in constant bickering matches. And by bickering I mean screaming and scratching and hitting and did I mention screaming. I really need to re-name the playroom the “scream and make wicked messes room”, because not much playing goes on in there.

However, just this week we noticed something. My oldest took a transformer, gave it a voice and started making it talk and fly around. His brother noticed, joined in and on Friday they PLAYED together for at least two hours. My husband and I looked at each other and said, “Is this what typical kids do? They just…play??? DUDE.”

You see, they’d been playing their new Transformers PS2 game for over a week. The game is full of cut-scenes that show the good guys and the bad guys talking smack and cheering their respective side on. I couldn’t believe it when I heard my oldest say “We must save the sentient beings, let’s go!” and his brother answer “Ok buddy, autobots roll out!”. I may have possibly screamed and scared the poor children into the other room. Maybe. But their toys were saying “wow, let’s get outta here” as they ran away.

At The Top

If you haven’t yet heard, there’s a new cat in town. For anyone who’s not a fan of feed-readers, doesn’t have time to check all their bookmarks one at a time, or who just generally wants to be awesome, go check out AllTop. You will find various topics full to the brim with interesting and witty people, one of which–ahem–happens to be me. I’m honored to be included with a bunch of other bloggers in the “Life” channel of AllTop. Peruse the site, and check out the GOLD that Guy Kawasaki has gathered all in one slick and easy to read site.

Girl About Town

Come hang out with me at my other haunts today…

In Defense of the Veggie Burger and Autism:The Musical

I’m nothing if not diverse!

Help Chevy Help Autism

Starting today, and going on through April (which happens to be Autism Awareness Month!), Chevy will be giving you all a chance to raise money for autism with just one simple click. Go here, and watch the virtual tour of the new 2008 Chevy Malibu, and a donation will be made to Autism Speaks. That’s it! Just one short video. Plus, not only do you get the warm fuzzy feeling of contributing money to an urgent need, but when the video is done you get a 30 day trial of XM Radio Online. Pretty sweet deal, no?

I’ve already watched it once (it will be on my daily click list from now on, for sure) and I have to say, the new Malibu is pretty *and* it’s loaded. I’d love to trade in my soccer mom minivan for a sleek Malibu like, yesterday, but that will have to wait until I don’t have 3 car seats in the car at once.

To read more, go here. Thanks everyone for doing this, from the bottom of my heart!

Tribal Needs

Last week I waxed poetic about who we consider to be our “friends”. We seem to bond much faster to our online friends (our “2.0 friends”, as Savvy Auntie would call them) than real life friends despite possibly never meeting these 2.0-ers in person (I’ve told people I’ve never met all about what I find in my bra. I’m extremely fascinating people, come join my tribe.), Whether it be because we feel free enough to pour our hearts out into an email, a blog post or even a Tweet, the result is the same–we usually have more online friends than face to face friends. Dunbar’s Number talks about the theory that we can only have 150 relationships at a time and still remain connected and healthy. Once you go past that, things get unstable. Relationships aren’t deep, and at best they are as unsatisfying as watching an episode of Gossip Girl. You just want more.

But what I find so fascinating about all the blogging and social media networking going on, is that people are getting back to living within a “tribe”. Some people have their tribe in real life, some online, or it may a mixture of both. I believe that we won’t really ever be happy until we find our tribe, and this postmodern world has led us into spread out cities and total isolation. Stepping out onto the streets and trying to connect is pretty much impossible. In my town we don’t even have sidewalks, and in big cities everyone is in a rush and on a mission. It’s getting harder and harder to meet genuine, authentic people, and it takes forever to get to an intimate friendship that can fill that tribal need.

Blogging, the comments on blogs and sites like Twitter are taking this postmodern-spreading-out mentality and bringing us all back together. Neo-tribalists seek for us to return to the tribe mentality, and like me they believe that we will never truly find happiness unless we are in a tribe. As most of us know, there was a time way back in the day when we literally lived in villages as a tribe. Everyone helped everyone, other mothers took care of new mamas, life was simple, it was hard work and it was complete. Sure there were people that didn’t get along, one guy stole another guy’s goat one time, and the whole village was talking about it for weeks. But at the end of the day, at least they were THERE to even talk about it. Need more proof? One of our biggest punishments in prisons right now is solitary confinement. It’s actually torture to deprive a person from human touch.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think that we should start knocking on neighbors’ doors asking them to listen to our deepest secrets, many of us don’t even LIKE our neighbors. But we didn’t pick those people, for the most part. They just bought the house next door and started making our lives miserable, what with all the dog barking incessantly just because I’m standing in my kitchen and you can see me, mutt. Ahem.

The modern tribe is made up of our own special peeps. I think that while some people believe that going online means you are avoiding people, for me going online has brought me to my tribe. I’ve even found my core tribe of women on blogs, and because God is cool like that, these same women live by me. How’s that for filling a tribal need?

So I’d like to know, have you found your tribe? Are you actively seeking one? Don’t ever give up, because your tribe is out there, promise. You will find them, or they will find you. And then you can get together and re-enact this dance and think you are the coolest tribe around. Ladies, be prepared.

**Thanks to Queen of Spain for that both disturbing and exciting video.

Best Shot Monday: Truthiness In A New Decade

A couple weeks ago, Sweetney challenged us all to post a picture of the real us. Our true selves in all our glory. I have been wanting to do it, but decided to wait for today, my 30th birthday, to take a pic and post it for all of you to feel better about yourselves. I love this idea that we can strip away all the perfect angles and photo re-touching and just embrace who we are. I probably look like this in real life more often than not (maybe with my hair brushed a bit), and my friends are probably saying “um, this pic is exactly how you always look”, but this was me this morning upon waking up. It’s a slightly blurry pic, because what am I, nuts? Only a little.

For more Best Shots, go here.

There’s A Bee In My Bonnet

I’m finally going to announce the winner of my Amazon giveaway! To recap: I asked you all for suggestions for a title for a new design blog I’m launching. I received so many awesome suggestions, it really was hard to pick just one. The winner…

Sarah in PA who suggested “Blue Canary“!

Sarah caught on to my shout out to They Might Be Giants with my food blog (They Might Be Vegans), and had three suggestions that were all lyrics from TMBG. I happen to also love the name, so you’ll have a new design blog to visit coming up soon. Like you need another one, right? Well I plan to bring you rare finds and beautiful things from around the interweb, with a fresh perspective and an aesthetic that is clean and simple.

Sarah, you did not leave me your contact info, so please comment here or email me so I can get your Amazon gift card prize to you.

Thanks again to all who entered.

The Blood, The Tomb, The Life

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Happy Easter! Today is a day of celebration, reflection and peace. A couple friends posted videos that say way more than I could ever begin to, so go here and here to watch and think and rejoice.

Shiny And New

So glad you all made it here! It’s been a roller coaster day of bad re-directs and site outage, but here’s the new baby. You likey? I feel like it really reflects who I am: green, funky, modern and unconventional. Now that I have this shiny new blog design I feel a huge weight just lifting off my shoulders. We can all commence eating and sleeping again now, thankyouverymuch.

My brother (who is two and a HALF years younger than me, don’t you ever forget it) is the evil genius behind all that you see. We’ve been working on this together for weeks, and you know what? Coding is tough, ya’ll. Not that I did any of it, but yeah. Hard. If you are ever thinking of using iWeb, do yourself and your loved ones a favor and run away screaming “NOOOO!” in the opposite direction of that abomination of a program. We are total Mac addicts, always have been, always will be, but iWeb is a big ugly zit. That’s free advice from me to you. I’m helpful like that.

If you like what you see, my brother’s skills ARE for hire, so just go to the contact page and shoot me an email if you’d like more info.

Where are the comments? Sadly, they were lost and eaten by the iWeb beast. Old posts? They’re coming. I hope to have the rest of the posts transferred over in the next week or so.

Don’t forget to click on the cute little green RSS button to your right to make sure you have the updated and correct feed.

Oh, and if any of you saw it, earlier my blog was hacked by the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy. Good thing I’ve got the reins again.

P.S. I’ll be announcing the winner of my Amazon giveaway later tonight!