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As I was preparing the Throwback Thursday post today, I was looking at various pictures of hubby and I back when we got married. I was only 20, he was 21. We were so young! And thin! And had no idea what was in store for us! This point was driven home even more-so when I started looking at some pics I took of us last night. Here’s us in the here and now:

I made them black and white to be a little kinder to our complexions, but you can tell we are older (compare to the honeymoon pic HERE). MUCH older. I realize no one but us will probably see what I’m seeing when I compare the pictures. Why does it seem like we look more than 10 years older? Of course, I’m not near as svelte as I was in my pre-baby days, and hubby’s hairline has changed a little, but its more than that. Its the wear and tear of life that you can see in our faces. The laugh lines and the pain-filled wrinkles. The joy of having 3 boys, and the agony we’ve experienced as parents as we try to figure out why exactly God chose us to raise an Autistic child, and how to go about helping him be the best he can be. Figuring out how to create a world for our non-special needs children that isn’t “all about” their brother. Its hard and it kicks our butt every day.

I guess you could also say the aging looks more than 10 years because we’ve probably been through so much more than many people experience in 10 years. Or do all people think that?

The pictures also helped me realize that we aren’t showing enough of the joy we have in our lives, in our faces. I don’t mean expression, I mean the kind of joy that just exudes from your skin. It can’t be contained, and we need to let it rip. The hubs and I are astounded each and every day at the blessings we’ve been given.

Maybe we need to smile more. Maybe we just need a good mud mask.

July 13, 2007 | Filed Under Autism | 3 Comments

Throwback Thursday

I can’t help but giggle when I look at this old picture. It was 1994, I think, and my (now) husband (the rock star on the left) and I had been “going out” (Read: dating. Except not going anywhere by ourselves. At least, that’s what I told my parents.) for about 8 or 9 months. I was 16 he was 17. He went away that summer for a long trip (ahem, 3 weeks is a lot when you are 16) to Costa Rica with his school, and when he came back we had rocky times and almost broke up (er…maybe we did break up? honey, help me out here.) because he kissed (he says she kissed him…) a Costa Rican girl when he was saying goodbye to all the students there. It was huge drama (”she slipped you tongue! OMG!”) and I thought we were over. He gave me a mixed tape that included a song by Boyz II Men called “On Bended Knee” (please tell me someone remembers that masterpiece) and the rest is history.

I think his almost kid-n-play flat top is so cute, don’t you?

A month ago we had our 9 year wedding anniversary! Here’s us on our honeymoon in 1998 in Puerta Vallarta, Mexico.

July 12, 2007 | Filed Under Throwback Thursday | 2 Comments

Wordless Wednesday: Not Impressed

July 12, 2007 | Filed Under Wordless Wednesday | 2 Comments

Hold Up…Wait a Minute…

Today has been one of those days. Can’t keep the baby happy, much less put him down. Got into the car to discover a sand box in my son’s car seat from yesterday’s beach outing. Left the house without my other son’s backpack (which had inside the vital power ranger that MUST not be left at home!). We had some fun plans today that were decidedly altered when my pre-schooler started blowing chunks (literally. it was actually kinda impressive.) all over the car. You know this type of day, right? The kind of day where I was wishing I could go back to bed and start over again tomorrow. The kind of day where watching a sappy commercial or hearing about cutting down “virgin trees” just so we can have paper bags at the store made me all verklempt. The poor baby trees!

I found myself going back and forth between feeling mildly annoyed and tolerating my kids, to feeling extremely annoyed and put out. Once you start getting annoyed with your kids and, heaven forbid, getting mad at them for just being kids, then comes the always-under-the-surface Mommy Guilt. Gotta love the way we mommies pile it on.

Do all moms have days like this? Sometimes I wonder, because you really don’t hear about it a lot, and women tend to put on a happy face when they see each other. At least, I know I do. I’ve had post-pardem depression before, so I worry about getting it again this time. My baby is 7 weeks old, and I know that this can be prime time for those occasional blues to turn into rage and despair.

What I finally realized today, was that IT’S OK. IT’S OK if our routine was screwed up, and we we couldn’t go to the party. IT’S OK if we aren’t eating a perfectly balanced meal today because I just don’t freaking feel like cooking(!). IT’S OK. It won’t always be this way.

What my kids are asking of me today is to slow down and just be in the moment. Enjoy the fact that I have to hold the baby non-stop, (yes, I’m typing with one hand) because when he’s a big tall muckety-muck some day, I will miss this (really? that day will come?). I will even miss cleaning up the puke of my kids, I’m sure. Some day they won’t need me to do that, they’ll have someone else for that (or they will do it themselves! hello independent men who can clean and cook! make mama proud!).

So tonight, I will slow down. I will stretch out my patience longer, and not let it get thin. I will be still, and know that each thing is precious.

Even tossed cookies.

July 10, 2007 | Filed Under Family, Myself and I | Leave a Comment

The Podo-who-zie-whatzie?

Another giveaway from Steph, the free goodie goddess, its the latest in babywearing-the Podonbutai from All Natural Mommies. This little invention looks amazing, and its use includes some of the best ways to wear baby, all in one carrier. Pretty cool!

*Jamie’s excited about the giveaway. Well, to be honest, he would get excited even if you just told him he could take off his pants. But still.

July 10, 2007 | Filed Under Babywearing | Leave a Comment

Staging a Comeback

Hi folks! Are you still out there?

Ok, so its been over a year since my last post. When we brought home that puppy, we had no idea that this time the next year we would have another child (almost 2 months old now!) and have moved to Chicagoland (say wha? the Midwest?). What will this year bring? Hopefully a little less with the massive life changes, and a little more with the slo-mo living.

Why the comeback you ask? Its simple. I want free stuff. For a lot of the giveaways I’m seeing, you have to have a blog to win. Yeah, I also have been slowly mustering up the energy and desire to return to my blogger persona, and certain mommy bloggers have been so inspiring that I can’t help but want to start writing again, but its mostly the free stuff.

Since its been over a year, I’m sure I no longer have any readers, but that’s ok! I write for me! Who cares if I ever get any comments! Ha.

My blogroll was woefully out of date, so I dumped most of it and will rebuild it as I have time. Hope to see ya around.

*Cicada photo included as another thing I would have never anticipated. Why oh why didn’t someone warn me?

July 10, 2007 | Filed Under Myself and I | Leave a Comment

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